Vocation Stories

Family has been the real source of my vocation to consecrated life as a Sister of St. Agnes. I grew up with six sisters and my parents. I was number six of the seven girls. At a very early age, I learned the give-and-take rule necessary to live in community. God was very much a part of my life growing up. We lived across the street from the Catholic Church, so I had the opportunity to go to Mass during the week when i felt like it. I saw my mother go pretty regularly, so I started going as well. My mother also prayed the rosary during the week, often with the radio rosary, and many times I would pray with her. 

When I was in 6th grade, one of my older sisters joined the Sisters of St. Agnes. She had gone to college to become a nurse, but then entered religious life. We could go visit her three times a year, and I always enjoyed the visits. I got to meet other sisters in her group and sisters who were her teachers. Everyone was so nice and so welcoming. I believe the seed that was planted in my family experience was being cultivated during these visit with my sister and all with whom she lived.

My years in high school and first years of college were pretty regular, I would say. It had the normal amount of studying along with plenty of extra-curricular activities. There was band, chorus, cheerleading, church choir, girl scouts to name a few. Dating was part of the high school and college experience as well. In college, I was wondering what I was supposed to be feeling as I was dating. There always seemed to be something missing in the experience. 

After my first year of college at UW Sheboygan, WI, I transferred to Marian College in Fond du Lac, WI. Somewhere inside of me, I knew I needed to be in a place where I could better discern my call to religious life. At Marian, along with all the normal college activities, I had the opportunities to interact with young women who were in the formation process to become sisters. Talking with them assured me that they were normal folks and very happy people. It assured me that God doesn't call us to be unhappy, but happy.

During that year at Marian, I had the opportunity to talk with a sister on the formation team who helped me to ask the right questions and then move in the direction I felt God was calling me. I wrote a letter to the Mother Superior asking to be accepted into the community. Upon receiving an affirmative reply, I then had to tell my parents and sisters. I was a little nervous facing my parents and letting them know that I felt called to become a sister. They were reservedly happy for me at that moment, but as time went on, and they could see that this was what would really bring fulfillment and joy to my life, they became very happy and supportive of my decision. My sisters were generally supportive. My younger sister was disappointed at first; she wanted me to get married, but she came around and then was happy for me as well. 

Throughout my life as a sister, I have been called to discern many different things; what ministry am I called to? Where in the community does God want me to minister? Is this community one where my time and energy will be used well for God? I have taught in elementary grades in WI, NY, In, and been a campus minister at Marian College in Fond du Lac, WI, as well as at Arizone State University in AZ. It is through continued prayer and a deepening relationship with God that I know what God is asking of me. My sisters in community allow God to speak through them to help me know and continue to respond to God's ever-growing call to love.

Why Am I a Sister of St. Agnes? I guess I would say it was a natural progression in my life.

When I was a very young child, I spent a lot of time in nature and I always had a sense of “someone” or “something” beyond myself. That presence was very strongly connected to nature, creatures, and the peacefulness that I experienced there and that has continued throughout my life. I was also blessed to have a mom and grandmother who took the time to teach me simple things like lighting an Advent candle or kneeling beside my bed to pray before going to sleep, those simple rituals that mark time and helped to connect me to a sense of ‘church”. But my mom was also very careful to teach me to reach out to those in need with generosity and kindness—collecting clothing, donating time, visiting the sick and the elderly—those kinds of things. My mom’s side of the family also included two great aunts who were Franciscan religious sisters; they were a part of our family life as well. Now, my family was not really “religious” in the sense that some families had lives revolving around the church. I would say we probably fell under the category of “spiritual but not religious”. One year, for my seventh birthday, I received a children’s book on the life of St. Francis Cabrini. I loved that book, which added to the mix. You would think that all of this would have led me to religious life at a young age, but it didn’t. 

Like many people, I left it all behind in my late teens and all the way through my twenties. I spent those years exploring all types of spirituality and religions, dating, traveling the world. One day, there was a reckoning. I was very unhappy and feeling rootless, and I asked myself if I was really happy. I was living on the surface of my life but needed to feel a deeper connection to my family, to God, to a community. Guess what? That sense of presence got very strong again, and I began the journey back to a committed relationship with God that included my Catholic Faith. 

I joined a parish but also worked at a Catholic Hospital where one day a sister friend of mine asked me if I had ever thought of being a sister. I lied and said “no”. But it stuck with me, and eventually I had to explore the call that was so deeply rooted within me. My story is unique, in that I chose to be a sister twice. After 19 years with a Franciscan community whom I dearly love, I felt that God was inviting me to explore my call once again. This process was not undertaken lightly or alone. With the help of my Spiritual Director, friends, and other sisters, I found CSA and resonated with the mission of Sister of St. Agnes, “standing with those whose faith life and dignity are threatened”, “connecting at the level of the Sacred,” and the way in which CSA honors women. I honor my roots in my family past, my journey to answering my vocation call, and my roots in my first community I entered, and my dear community of Sisters of St. Agnes. Despite many ups and downs, hard times, and absolutely amazing times, I have no regrets about saying yes to that mysterious presence every day, who has been my companion always. 

I know God is calling, but how can I be sure when? How can I be sure of the next move? How can I be sure this is the right community? How can I be sure what God wants?

My life has been full of questions like these. As a child in grade school, I wanted to be a teacher and all of my teachers were Sisters of St. Agnes, so naturally I wanted to be a Sister of St. Agnes, too. Then God made me question things by giving me a lay teacher in 5th grade. Yes, I still felt the call to be a Sister. When 8th grade came, I prayed for guidance but didn't get a clear answer as to when I should enter the convent. During my freshman year, it became clear that now was the time. Various times during formation, God seemed to put something before me to help me question, clarify, and reinforce my sense of call. Before the time of making a permanent commitment to CSA and to God, I questioned if this was the right community.

Hearing a call from God takes courage. I am grateful to God for that courage to give God the time, to talk with wisdom people, and to wrestle with the questions that led me to answering the call.

Now, many years later, I reflect on the blessing that God has placed in my life as a vowed member of the Sisters of St. Agnes. I am grateful for the time spent in the classroom with children and in school administration. Both gave me the opportunity to share my love for God with others and to help them along the way to a deeper relationship with God. I also received the love and support of the school/parish community. I received challenges that helped me grow. I give thanks for the opportunities I've been given to work with people of other cultures. The world is bigger than my little slice of it. God is bigger than my little view.

The call of baptism, the call of religious life, is a call to a deep love relationship with God. This love spills over into love for others and for self. How do I know what God wants? Sometimes the process is messy, but I believe that all love relationships are messy. It is in the messiness that we learn and grow to become the person we are created to be. Sometimes, by living in the messiness, the voice of God becomes clearer. Sometimes we don't know what God wants. We try one thing and then have to change because we know that it was a wrong turn. Religious life has been the life to which God called me, and it has brought me a sense of peace and love even in times of struggle. I know I am happier than I would be following any other life style. It's right for me.

How does one know if God is calling her to religious life? How does one know that she's chosen the right person to marry? Sometimes you just know.